Grand Grandparenting Idea: Take Time for Grandchildren
According to Dr. Karl Pillemer of Cornell University, the relationship between grandparents and their grandchildren is second in emotional importance only to the relationship between parent and child. Children benefit when grandparents are involved in their lives. But grandparents also enjoy benefits from the relationship with their grandchildren. A recent study by Boston College found that “an emotionally close relationship between grandparent and grandchildren is associated with fewer symptoms of depression for both generations.” In fact, according to an American Grandparent Association survey, 72% of grandparents “think being a grandparent is the single most important and satisfying thing in their life.”
In our busy world, the phrase “I don’t have time to…” is a common complaint. However, time spent together is the crucial element in developing close relationships and in making a difference in our grandchildren's lives. It doesn't have to be big chunks of time, and spending time with grandchildren can be interesting and fun.
Spend Relaxed Time Together
It is natural to want to connect with our grandchildren, but in today's fast-paced world, we may try to do it quickly. However, there is no way to compress relationship development into fly-by encounters. If we want to know what’s happening in our grandchildren’s lives and develop a close relationship with them, we need to have relaxed time together. Grandparents need to make an effort to enjoy leisure time with their grandchildren.
As a grandparent, you get to interact with your grandchildren without the same daily pressures of a parent—you don't have to worry about driving carpool or juggling dinner for the family with soccer practice and grocery shopping. You can allow yourself to slow down and become really absorbed in an activity with your grandchildren. Moving at a slower pace than usual gives children the sense that time can be 'stretched'—and that they don’t need to hurry. As with adults, relaxed time gives children the psychic space to feel, reflect, and express emotions without feeling rushed.
When our grandchildren have unhurried and enjoyable time with us, they are more likely to let us into their worlds. It may be important to adjust your pace to spend happy time with your grandchildren. Rather than rushing through time together or fretting about your next task, relax into leisurely time with your grandchild. For example, play games with them. Board and card games are a unique opportunity to watch kids in action and to see how they operate in the world. Games also allow you to help your grandchild learn to be good sports and play fairly.
Share Your Interests
The best grandparenting activities flow naturally from the interests of both the grandparents and the grandchildren. You can create a deep, loving relationship with your grandchildren by sharing the things you love with them and by learning about the ideas and activities that excite them. Engaging in hobbies and activities that you love or your grandchild loves can be a great way to learn about each other. Sometimes, activities that you might not expect your grandchildren to be interested in, like knitting or gardening, might turn out to provide an important point of connection for you. Similarly, if you take an interest in something they are passionate about, perhaps Harry Potter books, they get to share their special area of knowledge and may open up in new ways.
Explore the World Together
Children love the outdoors, and trips to the park or the canyons can be a great jumping-off point for some wonderful adventures and happy memories. Nature walks and day hikes can provide lots of interesting things to talk about, and water activities can be especially fun. Throwing stones into water or watching the current play with sticks are simple activities that are fascinating to children. You can start these activities when kids are toddlers and expand the length and intensity as they get older.
Taking the grandchildren to concerts and plays, movies, science centers and museums, parks, or walks in the neighborhood can be a good way to let them experience the world. These together times help you exchange ideas and opinions.
Carve Out One-on-One Time
When possible, spend time with individual grandchildren. You will find unique opportunities to bond, without competition, when you make an effort to spend time with one grandchild at a time.
The best advice: Take the time to just be together with your grandchildren, whenever and however you can manage. Enjoy the benefits of that time together, while you make a difference in your grandchildren’s lives!
By Arlene Bascom