When You Travel You Take Yourself With You

The setting was magic: an oceanfront resort on the coast of Southern Spain. Magnificent flowers in bloom, a patio with little tables shielded from the sun by colorful umbrellas. Yet members of the family directly across from our table were throwing loud, angry words at each other within earshot of every other guest.  I was shocked. I was saddened. And I didn’t want that sort of thing to ever happen to us.

We tend to think that “getting away from it all” is the panacea for stress. We tend to believe a beautiful setting and time to relax will “make everything all better.” But the reality is that no trip is without glitches, and whatever our pattern is at home for facing disappointment and frustration, that same pattern will instantly surface when things don’t go smoothly when we travel. We might leave behind our every-day setting, but we take ourselves with us.

Here are four principles to consider that can improve enjoyment at home or on a trip. These principles are time-tested and proven to be effective, no matter what the setting. If we practice living these principles of positive living at home, then when we hit inevitable snags on our dream vacation, we are likely to apply them there as well.

Principle No. 1: Behave Like a Bumper Car

When my children were young, I got a kick out of watching them play on the bumper cars at Lagoon. The basic rule for fun was this: when you hit the wall or another person hits you and blocks your way, instantly turn and move ahead in another direction. 

When our plans for a regular day fall through, what do we do? Waste time fretting, or turn and move ahead in another direction? When we have a disappointment on a trip (maybe the museum we wanted to see is closed for repairs, or bad weather makes it impossible to go to the beach), what do we do? If we’ve established the habit at home of behaving like a bumper car, we can immediately turn another direction, find something we can do. We might even find a way to enjoy ourselves anyway. For instance, if the weather is bad and all our plans for the day were outside activities, perhaps we can curl up by the fire and read a good book, sip a delicious hot drink, have a satisfying conversation, or take a much-needed nap!

Principle No. 2 Maintain a Sense of Wonder

Instead of being angry about a dropped cell phone call, we can marvel that we have the magic of voice and image transmission over seas, continents, and mountains. Our grandparents would never have believed our electronic devices would be possible, yet we tend to take them for granted.

Instead of complaining about cramped quarters on the airplane, we can marvel that in a few hours we can zoom to a destination that used to take weeks or even months of uncomfortable travel by train or ship. In a few minutes, we can get to a place it would take many hours to drive.

Principle No. 3 Open Your Eyes to the Beauties All Around—Large and Small

At home, we can make it a practice to notice the little things and enjoy them: the exquisite markings on a flower in our backyard, the golden flecks in the dancing eyes of a visiting grandchild, the comfort of a favorite pillow, the enticing flavors of a favorite food.

Then, when we are traveling, we can extend that habit to increase our enjoyment wherever we are. In a busy airport, not famous for beauty or comfort, we can wave at a child and notice the beauty of her smile. While we wait in lines, we can think beautiful thoughts of all the good fortune of our lives that has made this trip possible and how few people in history have ever had such opportunities. When we are placed in accommodations we do not find the best, we can look for a painting, vase, flower, a pleasant view out a window, anything that is beautiful to us, and focus on it. We can really look at the scenery and notice lovely details.

Principle No. 4:  Live the Golden Rule

If we’ve practiced this principle at home, on a trip, we can put ourselves in the shoes of an overworked clerk, travel agent, or person at the airport who has to deal with disgruntled passengers when a flight is delayed. No one ever regrets being too kind. People of every race, country, or culture are inclined to respond positively to kindness. One day, when a harried clerk snapped at me, I looked at her kindly and said, “I’m sorry you are having such a hard day.” She looked at me in pure astonishment and then couldn’t help smiling. “Thanks,” she said, and courteously completed the transaction.

I think kindness is the best boomerang experiment.  When we send it out, it almost always comes back! I’ve had more fun being kind and enjoying the results than any other one thing I can think of. Kindness isn’t meant to be selfish, but let’s face it—nothing bears more delicious fruit or brings more sunshine into our lives. On a trip, we get better seats, better service, and more consideration by practicing kindness. We can usually surround ourselves with pleasantness by being pleasant. We bring out the best in others by treating them with kindness.

Give It a Try!

If we practice these four principles at home, we are almost guaranteed a better traveling experience. Let’s start practicing today.

By Darla Isackson