Appreciating our Gifts, Talents, and Accomplishments
By Arlene Bascom
Christiane Northrup, MD, in her book Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, asks the question: "Do you regularly appreciate your strengths, gifts, talents, and accomplishments?"
I wondered why it was important to recognize and appreciate things I do that just seem normal and everyday to me. Christiane answered my question as she continued, "A large part of creating health—or anything else, including wealth—is giving ourselves credit for where we are now. If you chronically skip this step of acknowledging your achievements and continue to focus only on what you have yet to accomplish, then your subconscious hears only 'You are not enough. You haven't done enough. There is so much more to do. You will never be enough,' instead of 'Good job. You've come a long way'. Learning how to take in praise—to let ourselves really feel success and completion physically—is a skill that can be learned."
In an article titled "Teaching an Eagle to Swim" by Gary Jordan, PH.D. on the website biznik.com I found this advice: "Finding a reason to give yourself a pat on the back can drastically impact your emotional well-being for the better. You have abilities for which you have innate potential – some of which you may already be aware, and some that are just waiting. It is a very human tendency to overlook our own abilities, while we might be good at noticing and admiring talents in others.”
Italian classical music singer Andrea Bocelli has noticed this tendency and commented on it. Andrea has tremendous natural talent, but he also has worked hard to hone and cultivate it and has done so in spite of significant challenges. Bocelli, now 54, was born with congenital glaucoma. He always had weak eyesight, but when he was twelve he was hit in the head with a soccer ball during a game and became completely blind. Nevertheless, he has recorded 22 albums, which have sold 75 million copies worldwide. He credits the Divine for the gift of his voice, although he’s not sure why it was bestowed upon him. “God has his own design,” he says. “Everyone has gifts. What you have to do is be aware of them and cultivate them and love them. Very often people are not aware of their own talents because they get lost in wishing for the talents of others.”
Oprah Winfrey has also spoken of this phenomenon. She said, "In my 30 years as a lifestyle/career coach and author, the mistake I see people make time and again is failing to recognize their talents. How often have you gotten a compliment on your creativity or your patience or your resilience, only to wave it off, assuming that these strengths must come easily to everyone?"
How Do I Identify My Talents?
Gary Jordan, PhD, suggests that identifying and appreciating our talents and abilities is easier if you make a list of activities that you wish you could do again or more often. Choose one activity from the list that you could realistically do and do it sometime in the next seven days. After you have done it, reflect on the experience and ask yourself the following questions:
1. What aspects of the activity were enjoyable?
2. What talents or skills were engaged while doing the activity?
3. How could I do more of this activity?
4. What would I have to give up in order to spend more time on this activity?
These are important keys to recognizing a talent that you may not have been using. Spending time developing a talent could even change your outlook on life. When you choose to focus on and nurture your innate skills and abilities you begin to see yourself in a more positive light.
How Do I Use My Talent?
Celebrate your gifts and abilities by acknowledging them. Once you have identified a talent, the following three practices can help you appreciate it.
Be Grateful. Thank God for the talents and abilities He has given you. Thanking God for your gifts, however small they seem to you, will help you be happy and content with your life. Expressing your gratitude helps you feel more confidence. You see yourself as one who has value and purpose, which continues to be vital in your senior years.
Share. Share your gifts with those around you. Doing so will help make you happier and more content as you also make this world a better place. Deepak Chopra, a self-help guru, has said, "You have a unique talent and a unique way of expressing it. There is something that you can do better than anyone else in the whole world—and for every unique talent and unique expression of that talent, there are also unique needs.” Using your talents to improve the world can increase your own happiness as you increase the happiness of others.
Treasure. Be determined to treasure your talents. Every gift is precious, and all talents are equally valuable. Your talent may not be music, dance, art, or creative writing. Your talent may be to make the life of a sick or disabled family member more comfortable and happy. Your talent may be caring for your grandchildren and giving their parents much-needed time off. Maybe you have the gift of making other people feel important because you are an excellent listener. Perhaps you are extraordinarily gifted in feeding people good nutritious food, or you may be a Do-It-Yourself or fix-it expert. All of these, and many others, are honorable and God-given talents that can fill the needs of others.
Many times we take for granted the things we do well and do not see their value. For example, my sister has, over a period of many years, saved her family thousands of dollars in haircuts. She not only gives haircuts to her husband, sons, and grandsons, she even cuts her own hair. That is a skill few people have, and yet she never thinks anything of it.
I am in awe of this talent since I do not have the slightest ability in that area. Yet, I can follow recipes and cook almost anything, a talent I took for granted until I learned that my sister hates following recipes and has limited success doing it. Not everyone can follow recipes successfully, and I should appreciate what I can do. Learning to find value in things we do well improves our lives because we are happier with ourselves.
Dr. Stan Gardner, an Integrative medical practitioner in Utah, commented on how acknowledging our gifts and accomplishments affects our overall sense of well-being as well as our health. He advises, "Take time at the end of a project or at the end of each day to reflect on how much you did, and admire your handiwork. Fully acknowledge your worth."
Don’t let another day pass without accepting this challenge. Recognize one of your talents. Be grateful for it. Share it with others. Treasure it, because it makes you unique. Enjoy the happiness that flows into your life as you discover and develop your gifts. Author Leo Buscaglia inspired me when he wrote, "Our talents are the gift that God gives to us. What we make of our talents is our gift back to God."