They Don’t Make Grandmas Like They Used To
By Cheryl Carson
Sometimes, at a wedding reception, I see in the receiving line the beautiful, slim-figured, stylish, young-looking woman with long, thick hair who is the mother of the bride. Then I see several little children running around, dressed in clothing matching the color scheme of the event, and learn that they are some of her grandchildren. I can only smile as I shake my head and say, “They don’t make grandmas like they used to.”
When I attend senior citizen lunches offered in our town, I enjoy meeting new people. This week I sat by Shirley Emerson. I don’t know Shirley’s age, but she has a full head of gray hair and a good number of wrinkles, just as she should. She also transports herself in a snazzy, motorized wheelchair. Shirley delighted and entertained me with some of the reactions of little children when she attends church. One approached her and asked in a straightforward manner, “Are you a hundred?” Another noticed her and then reported excitedly to his mother, “I just saw a real grandma!”
My sentiments exactly.
You see, most of us know what a grandma should look like. Let me describe mine. In a tiny photo, I see her hair is white and gray, waved, and worn close to her head. She wears wire-rimmed spectacles on her kindly face, and in one hand, she holds a flower from her beautiful garden. Her posture hints at the osteoporosis that I also share. She is obviously dressed in her best—a pretty, plum-colored dress with a white lace collar. Heavy stockings and “grandma shoes” complete her outfit.
As a young child, I recall visiting Grandma with my family every Sunday night after church. At some point in the visit, she would leave the room and return to offer us the highly anticipated dish of little pastel-colored mints or sugar-coated lemon drops
Another thing about grandmas, besides having flower gardens and candy, is that they need to know how to crochet. This is essential. Not only fine, delicate items such as tablecloths and doilies, but other things, as well. I still treasure the items Grandma crocheted for me: a pair of miniature high-heeled shoes; a tiny, silver-edged teacup with saucer attached; a small, round jewelry box with a lid—all of them starched stiff to hold their shape—and a pink sweater with matching cap for my little baby doll. For her grandsons, she made beautiful neckties from shiny white crochet thread.
I was ten and she was 83 when she passed. I loved my gentle grandma.
Years ago, a little girl wrote: “What is a grandma? A grandma is a lady who has no children of her own, so she likes other people’s little boys and girls. A grandpa is a man grandma. He goes for walks with the boys, and they talk about fishing and things like that.
“Grandmas are old, so they shouldn’t play or run hard. They take us for walks, and they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars, and they never say, ‘Hurry up!’
“Usually they’re fat, but not too fat to tie your shoes. They wear glasses. They can take their teeth out and their gums off, too!
“When they read to us, they don’t skip words or mind if it is the same story again. Everybody should have a grandmother, because grandmas are the only grown-ups who have got time.”
Enough cannot be said about the value of grandparents in the lives of children. Psychologists say that children who never have an opportunity to know, love, and accept old people will find it difficult to deal with their own aging.
Since my own children had no living grandparents nearby, we began when they were very young to perform family variety shows at assisted living centers on a regular basis. I imagine we performed a couple of hundred programs as they grew up. Those precious experiences came loaded with blessings. These two children (born when I was 41 and 44 years old) are now 20 and 17. Both, upon turning 16, obtained employment at an assisted living center as meal servers and sometimes dishwashers for the elderly residents—special people who they love and by whom they are loved.
Cherishing children in our later years can be a benefit to us, as well as to them. Through technology, many of us already stay in close contact with our grandchildren who live far away. And any of us can nurture children not our own.
For years, my neighbor across the street has been known as the “Treat Lady.” Children knew that on Fridays or Saturdays, they could show up at her doorstep and receive a treat. Recently, this sweet woman suffered a heart attack and now has limited abilities. Perhaps I could become a treat lady. Recently, children have been instructed to come to my home for help with their speaking parts for an upcoming program at church—and they know that they will receive a treat before they leave. It is great fun!
Just yesterday, at another one of those senior citizen lunches, I listened with interest as a tall, gray, and handsome gentleman stood at his table and encouraged others to volunteer at a local elementary school as a teacher’s assistant. In addition to sharing how rewarding the experience can be, he added at the end, “It’s like having a whole bunch of grandkids around!”
Who knows how much our lives can touch the hearts of little children? Remember my new friend Shirley? She had become chummy with a little six-year-old neighborhood boy. One day, his teacher told Shirley that in class they had talked about treasures and that the students had been invited to name one personal treasure in their lives. The little boy thoughtfully declared, “Mrs. Emerson is my treasure.”
I do not find fault with the younger, unseasoned grandmas I see around me. They are truly wonderful women who possess the energy that I lack; I admire them. And I have every expectation that they will blossom into real grandmas one day, given time and age.